Emotionless Memories
by Awesomly Awesomeness
Summary: No Yaoi. Itachi reflects on his decisions in life concerning his brother, and how he first felt emotion.


_**I don't own Naruto**_

"_Choose: your clan, or your home."_

I was given a choice that night. It surprised me though, that they would give a choice to an emotionless tool. I could very well have chosen to just stay neutral, letting my clan and my home tear each other apart, all the while sitting emotionless on the sidelines.

I didn't though, and I wonder if me choosing to act was a sign of emotion.

But I don't have emotions, sensei told me every day that I didn't.

"_You don't have emotions."_

I remember sensei. He had black hair, black eyes, and wore black clothes with our clan symbol on it. A red and white fan, stitched onto both of our backs.

I remember cutting him down, too. He was the first to go.

Does it bother me, I ask myself, that I killed the one who had taught me kill in the first place? No, it doesn't, because he was a traitor, just like the rest of them. I must have felt some attachment to him though, otherwise the Mangekyou wouldn't have awakened when I killed him.

I didn't feel anything, or at least I don't remember feeling anything. He was a traitor, after all, and traitors were a danger to Konoha.

"_Big Brother! Can you teach me the shuriken jutsu today?"_

No, I can't. I don't want to. You're so small, little brother. So small and innocent. You don't know that the Father and Mother you look up to are plotting the death of our proud Hokage.

You want to catch up to me, become as strong as me, go on missions with me, you want to come home and have _me _ask _you_ to teach me something.

I don't want that.

I don't want you to lose your emotions, like I did. Or maybe I never had emotions to begin with. If I did, at one point, have emotions, I don't remember at all.

"_Big Brother, why did you kill everyone?"_

Something shifted inside of me when you said that – an uncomfortable twinge in my chest, unfamiliar and unwelcome. I answered you though, with the lie I had come up with to salvage what little innocence you had left. Which wasn't much, I thought to myself.

I had contemplated killing you, along with the rest of the traitors. After all, I was killing the other children of this despicable clan, so why play favorites and leave my little brother alive?

Whenever the thought crossed my mind though, my heartbeat would speed up, and I would feel something overtake me. I had heard other Shinobi talk about this feeling, and found it was called _fear._

Why would I be afraid of killing my innocent little brother?

After many hours of trying to come up with an answer, it finally hit me: I didn't want you to die. I wanted you to live. I was scared at the possibility of you dying.

I was feeling emotion.

I tried to deny it – I was an emotionless tool of Konoha, and therefore, didn't have emotions. It didn't work though, and in the end, I couldn't kill you.

I gave into this strange feeling, finally admitting that I loved you.

Love as in brotherly love. Not the type of love that two people of the opposite genders shared. I certainly wasn't like that.

I resolved that I wouldn't let this feeling escape me, and when it came time to kill our clan, I left you alive. I told you to obtain the same eyes as me, and come kill me.

For surely you didn't share the same feelings as me, and would live an easier life once I wasn't in this world anymore.

"_Itachi, you're mine."_

When we met for the first time in four years, I almost smiled. Almost. It terrified me, that you had such control over me, almost making me show emotion.

But you were still weak.

You had to get stronger, to kill me, and go back home to live in peace. So I pushed aside my emotions, and told you that you needed to hate me more. If you hated me, then I knew for certain that you hadn't become an emotionless tool of Konoha. You were still you, my foolish little brother.

I sighed, and snapped back to reality.

There were footsteps approaching, and there was no doubt in my mind that they were yours.

The footsteps stopped in front of me, and I heard your voice, "Itachi, you will die today, by my hand." You activated your Sharingan, I felt the small chakra pulse emit from you.

And so began our final battle. I would die today, you were strong enough now. I could leave you now, without fearing that you would be too weak to defend yourself.

I opened my eyes, Sharingan activated, and rested my chin and my hand, "Oh, you see my death with your weak eyes, do you?"

I was acting even now, pushing my emotions down, like I had been taught, all to protect you, my foolish little brother.

* * *

><p><strong>He he! My first story! If you want to know what I mean, go to my profile and read what I put up. I'm a little obsessed with Itachi at the moment, and this popped into my head. I always viewed Itachi as someone who didn't understand emotions, even with him being a genius.<strong>

**So, please review and tell me what you think!**


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